Is Everyone Really ‘A Bit ADHD’? Understanding the Reality

TL;DR: ADHD is a genuine neurodevelopmental condition with specific diagnostic criteria - not just occasional distraction or high energy that everyone experiences. The casual phrase “everyone’s a bit ADHD” minimises the significant daily challenges faced by people with ADHD, who experience persistent difficulties with attention, impulse control, and executive function across multiple settings in their lives.

When Casual Comments Mask Real Struggles

In coffee shops and Zoom calls across the country, you’ve likely heard someone quip, “Oh, I’m so ADHD today!” after misplacing their keys or losing focus during a meeting. Perhaps you’ve even said it yourself. It’s become a shorthand for momentary distraction in our increasingly scattered world.

But for those living with actual ADHD, this casual comparison can feel like watching someone with a mild headache claim they understand migraines.

“When people say that, it feels like they’re taking something that shapes my entire life and reducing it to a quirky personality trait,” explains Sarah, who was diagnosed with ADHD in her thirties. “It’s not just having a scattered day - it’s having a scattered life despite your best efforts.”

What ADHD Actually Is (And Isn’t)

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how your brain processes attention, manages impulses, and regulates activity levels. It’s not simply being distracted occasionally - it’s a persistent pattern that significantly impacts daily functioning.

ADHD brains are wired differently. Imagine your attention as a spotlight - for most people, that spotlight moves where they direct it. For someone with ADHD, the spotlight has a mind of its own, darting about without permission or staying fixed on something fascinating while ignoring more pressing matters.

Dr. Emma Thompson, a neurodiversity specialist, explains: “The ADHD brain has differences in how dopamine - a neurotransmitter involved in motivation and reward - is processed. This isn’t something that comes and goes; it’s a fundamental difference in brain function.”

The condition presents differently in different people:

• Predominantly inattentive presentation: Difficulty sustaining focus, following through on tasks, or staying organised

• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation: Fidgeting, interrupting, feeling constantly driven “as if by a motor”

• Combined presentation: A mixture of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms

For a formal diagnosis, these symptoms must be persistent, present in multiple settings (not just at work or just at home), and significantly impact daily functioning.

Unpacking Common ADHD Misconceptions

”It’s just poor discipline”

“They need to try harder” are phrases many with ADHD have heard throughout their lives. These misconceptions sting precisely because people with ADHD are often trying incredibly hard - they’re just swimming against a neurological current.

James, a graphic designer with ADHD, shares: “I’m not choosing to forget important deadlines or struggle with paperwork. I’ve developed elaborate systems just to manage what others seem to do effortlessly."

"ADHD only affects hyperactive children”

Another prevalent myth is that ADHD only affects children, particularly boisterous boys. In reality, ADHD persists into adulthood for many, and girls and women are frequently overlooked because their symptoms may present differently - often as inattentiveness rather than hyperactivity.

“I was the daydreamer staring out the window,” recalls Priya, diagnosed at 29. “Because I wasn’t disrupting the class, no one noticed I was struggling to focus. I just seemed ‘away with the fairies’ rather than having a neurological condition."

"ADHD is overdiagnosed or made up”

Perhaps most damaging is the belief that ADHD is a modern invention or overdiagnosed excuse. While diagnostic rates have increased with better awareness, the condition itself isn’t new - we’re simply better at recognising it now.

Historical records show descriptions of ADHD-like symptoms dating back centuries, though the terminology has evolved. The first medical description appeared in 1798, when physician Alexander Crichton described “mental restlessness.”

Living in an ADHD Brain: The Daily Reality

Time Works Differently

Living with ADHD means experiencing the world with particular intensity. Time works differently - the future can feel abstract while the present is overwhelmingly immediate. This isn’t mere procrastination; it’s a genuine difficulty with time perception that makes planning challenging.

“I don’t procrastinate because I’m lazy,” explains Tom, a university lecturer with ADHD. “I procrastinate because my brain doesn’t register future deadlines as real until they’re imminent. Then suddenly, they’re extremely real and extremely stressful.”

Executive Function Challenges

Executive function - the brain’s management system - often works differently too. Tasks that seem straightforward to others, like breaking down a project into steps or switching between activities, can require enormous mental effort.

It’s not laziness when someone with ADHD struggles to begin a task - it’s their brain’s difficulty activating the necessary neural pathways. This phenomenon, known as “task initiation difficulty,” can make even desired activities hard to start.

Relationship Complexities

Relationships can be complicated by ADHD traits like interrupting in conversation (not from rudeness but from fear of losing a thought) or appearing to not listen (while actually processing information differently).

“My partner used to think I didn’t care about what she was saying,” shares Michael. “In reality, I care deeply - I just might be fidgeting or looking away because that’s how I process information best. Making eye contact actually makes it harder for me to listen.”

Many with ADHD describe feeling perpetually misunderstood, as if they’re operating on a different wavelength from those around them.

The Spectrum of ADHD Experiences

The experience varies tremendously from person to person. Some find certain aspects of ADHD bring gifts - like creative thinking, problem-solving from unexpected angles, or the ability to hyperfocus on subjects of interest. Others primarily experience the challenges. Most live with a complex mixture of both.

“When I’m interested in something, I can work for hours without noticing time passing,” says Leila, an artist with ADHD. “That hyperfocus can be an incredible gift in my creative work. But it’s the same brain that forgets to pay bills or struggles to follow conversations at noisy dinner parties.”

Why “Everyone’s a Bit ADHD” Misses the Mark

When we casually claim “everyone’s a bit ADHD,” we unintentionally diminish the very real struggles faced by those with teh condition. It’s rather like telling someone with clinical depression that “everyone gets sad sometimes”—technically true, but missing the fundamental difference in scale, persistence, and impact.

Dr. Thompson explains: “Yes, everyone can be distracted or impulsive at times. The difference is that for people with ADHD, these aren’t occasional states - they’re persistent traits that significantly impact daily functioning despite their best efforts to manage them.”

Understanding ADHD means recognising it as a genuine neurological difference that affects every aspect of someone’s life - not an occasional state that anyone might experience. It requires consistent effort and often specific strategies to navigate a world not designed for ADHD brains.

Embracing Neurodiversity While Acknowledging Real Challenges

By moving beyond oversimplifications and towards genuine understanding, we create space for compassion - both for those living with ADHD and for the diverse ways all our brains function.

“I don’t want people to walk on eggshells around me,” says Sarah. “I just want them to understand that my brain works differently, and that’s okay. Some days are harder than others, but ADHD is part of who I am - not something I turn on and off.”

After all, neurodiversity isn’t about labelling differences as disorders, but recognising that human brains, like human bodies, come in wonderful variety - each with its own strengths and challenges.

The next time you hear someone casually claim “everyone’s a bit ADHD,” perhaps gently remind them: while everyone experiences moments of distraction or impulsivity, for those with ADHD, it’s not a moment - it’s a lifetime of navigating a world that often doesn’t acommodate their neurological wiring.

And that difference matters.