Emotional Labour

Emotional labour is the effort it takes to manage your emotions — or the way you show them — to meet social expectations, keep situations smooth, or make other people feel more comfortable.

It’s often invisible, but it can be exhausting.

Examples might include:

• Smiling when you’re tired or upset
• Staying calm when you’re overwhelmed
• Masking confusion, frustration, or discomfort
• Managing someone else’s emotions so they don’t feel awkward
• Pretending something’s okay to avoid conflict

For neurodivergent people, emotional labour can be especially intense. It might involve masking natural reactions, following unspoken social “rules”, or regulating sensory discomfort while trying to stay polite or professional.

This doesn’t mean emotional labour is always bad — but when it’s constant or unacknowledged, it can lead to burnout, resentment, or feeling disconnected from yourself.

Recognising emotional labour can help people set boundaries, reduce masking, or create environments where it’s safe to show up more authentically — without always having to perform calm, polite, or agreeable.