Gender & Neurodivergence (Bias in Diagnosis)

If you’ve ever wondered why so many women, girls, and gender-diverse people get diagnosed with autism or ADHD later in life — or not at all — you’re not alone. There’s a real pattern here, and it’s not because neurodivergence is rarer in these groups.

The truth is, most of our diagnostic understanding was built around how neurodivergent traits show up in boys. For decades, that’s who researchers studied, and those are the examples that ended up in textbooks and training programmes.

Here’s how this plays out in real life:

• A boy who hyperfocuses on trains might raise concern and get assessed. A girl who quietly reads about horses for hours? She’s just a “good student” with a “nice hobby.”
• A child who disrupts the class gets noticed quickly. A child who sits quietly while their mind races with anxiety or overwhelm? They slip through the cracks.
• Perfectionism, people-pleasing, and internal overwhelm often get labelled as personality traits or “just being sensitive” — not potential signs of neurodivergence.

This isn’t about neurodivergence actually looking different across genders. It’s about how differently society responds to the same behaviours depending on who’s doing them.

When you add in masking — the exhausting work of hiding your natural responses to fit in — many neurodivergent people become invisible to the very systems meant to support them. You might spend years thinking you’re just “too sensitive” or “not trying hard enough,” when actually your brain works beautifully — it’s just not being recognised.

If you’re reading this and thinking “this sounds like me,” know that you’re not imagining things. Your experiences matter, even if they don’t match the outdated stereotypes. You deserve to be seen for who you really are, not who the world expects you to be.