Identity-First vs Person-First Language

If you’ve ever wondered whether to say “autistic person” or “person with autism,” you’ve stumbled into one of the most thoughtful debates in the neurodivergent community. Both ways of speaking have meaning behind them, and understanding that can help you navigate conversations with more care.

Identity-first language puts the neurodivergent identity right upfront: “autistic person,” “ADHD person,” “disabled person.” For many people, this feels right because their neurodivergence isn’t something tacked on — it’s woven into who they are, how they think, and how they experience the world.

Person-first language emphasises the person before anything else: “person with autism,” “person with ADHD,” “person with a disability.” This approach grew out of good intentions — the idea that people shouldn’t be reduced to a medical label and that humanity should come first.

Here’s where it gets interesting: these aren’t just grammar choices. They reflect different ways of thinking about neurodivergence itself.

Identity-first language often says “this is part of me, and that’s okay.” Person-first language often says “I’m a person who happens to have this condition.” Both can be absolutely valid, depending on how someone sees themselves.

Many autistic people prefer identity-first language because autism shapes how they think, communicate, and connect with the world — it’s not something that can be separated from who they are. But others feel more comfortable with person-first language, especially if they view their diagnosis as one aspect of a complex identity.

The key? Follow someone’s lead. If they say “I’m autistic,” mirror that. If they say “I have ADHD,” respect that. If you’re not sure, it’s perfectly okay to ask: “What language do you prefer when talking about your neurodivergence?”

What matters most isn’t which approach is “right,” but that we’re listening to how people want to be described and honored in conversation.