Low Frustration Tolerance

Have you ever found yourself absolutely losing it over something tiny — like a computer glitch, a traffic jam, or someone interrupting you mid-sentence? And then felt terrible afterwards because you know your reaction was “too big” for what actually happened?

If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing low frustration tolerance. And before you start beating yourself up about it, know that this isn’t about being immature, dramatic, or having poor self-control. It’s about how your nervous system responds to stress, change, and overwhelm.

Low frustration tolerance means that even small obstacles can feel impossibly overwhelming in the moment. Your brain’s capacity to cope with additional stress is already stretched thin, so what looks like a minor inconvenience to others becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back for you.

This is especially common when you’re:

• Already running on empty from masking or managing daily challenges
• Dealing with sensory overload or overwhelm
• Experiencing ADHD, autism, anxiety, or trauma responses
• Burnt out from trying to keep up with neurotypical expectations
• Having a particularly challenging day or period

It might look like:

• Snapping at people when technology doesn’t work properly
• Feeling overwhelming rage when plans change at the last minute
• Abandoning projects completely after making one small mistake
• Crying or shutting down when one more thing goes wrong
• Getting disproportionately upset by interruptions or noise

Here’s what’s actually happening: Your brain isn’t being unreasonable. It’s just already working overtime to manage everything else, and it genuinely doesn’t have the capacity to handle one more thing — even a small thing.

The frustration you feel afterwards — that voice that says “I should be able to handle this” or “why can’t I just cope like everyone else?” — isn’t helpful. You’re not failing. Your nervous system is doing its best in a world that often feels too much.

Some gentle strategies that might help:

• Recognising your early warning signs (tension, irritability, feeling “hot”)
• Building buffers into your day so you’re not always running at capacity
• Having backup plans for when things go wrong
• Reminding yourself that this feeling will pass
• Being curious rather than critical about your responses

You deserve compassion, especially from yourself. Low frustration tolerance isn’t a character flaw — it’s information about what you need to feel safe and regulated in the world.