PDA & Demand Avoidance

PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance — a term first used to describe a pattern where someone strongly resists or avoids demands, even ones that seem small or everyday.

Many people find this label unhelpful or uncomfortable, as the word “pathological” implies something is wrong or broken. That’s why it’s increasingly common to just refer to it as demand avoidance.

For some people, being asked or expected to do something — even if they want to — can create a deep sense of pressure or threat. This can trigger:

• Resistance or withdrawal
• Shutdown or emotional outbursts
• Negotiation, distraction, or humour to shift the situation
• A strong need to regain a sense of control or autonomy

This isn’t about being oppositional or uncooperative. Demand avoidance is often rooted in nervous system sensitivity, anxiety, or past experiences where autonomy didn’t feel safe.

It’s a valid and real experience, especially for many autistic people. Recognising this can lead to more compassionate approaches — like offering choices, reducing pressure, or creating collaborative environments.

Some prefer alternative terms like:

• Pervasive Drive for Autonomy
• Persistent Demand for Autonomy
• Or simply, Demand Avoidance

Whatever the term, the focus is on understanding the why, not judging the what.