People Pleasing & Fawning

People pleasing is when someone regularly puts others’ needs before their own, often to avoid conflict, rejection, or feeling like a burden.

Fawning takes this further — it’s a nervous system survival response, like fight, flight, or freeze. Fawning means appeasing others to stay emotionally or physically safe.

These behaviours might look like:

• Saying yes when you want to say no
• Apologising constantly
• Avoiding disagreement at all costs
• Being overly helpful to stay liked or accepted
• Struggling to express your own needs or discomfort

For many neurodivergent people, especially those who’ve masked for years, people pleasing becomes second nature. It can be a way to:

• Avoid being singled out or misunderstood
• Smooth over social confusion
• Protect against rejection or meltdown
• Stay safe in unpredictable environments

It’s not about weakness or manipulation — it’s about survival.

Fawning can be especially common in those with trauma histories or a highly sensitive nervous system. It’s the body’s way of saying, “If I make myself small, maybe I’ll be okay.”

Recognising these patterns isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness — so you can begin to set boundaries, reconnect with your own needs, and build safety without self-erasure.