Camouflaging

Do you ever feel like you’re putting on a performance just to get through social situations? Like you’re carefully watching what everyone else does and then copying it, hoping no one notices you don’t naturally know the “rules”? That’s camouflaging — and it’s incredibly common among neurodivergent folks.

Camouflaging is like being an undercover agent in your own life. You’re deliberately adjusting your behaviour to blend in and avoid standing out as “different.” It’s related to masking, but camouflaging tends to be more conscious and strategic — like having a detailed plan for how to appear “normal.”

You might recognize camouflaging in yourself if you:

• Rehearse conversations — You practice what you’ll say at the party or meeting beforehand
• Study people like a social scientist — You watch how others laugh, gesture, or make small talk, then try to copy it
• Hide your true interests — You avoid mentioning that thing you’re passionate about because it’s “weird”
• Performance mode everything — Your posture, tone, even your facial expressions feel forced and calculated
• Overcorrect constantly — You’re always adjusting because you’re not sure if you’re doing it “right”

This often starts as a survival strategy, especially if you’ve been teased, excluded, or made to feel like your natural way of being is wrong. It’s your brain’s attempt to protect you from rejection or judgment.

But here’s the exhausting truth: camouflaging is like running a marathon every day just to exist in social spaces. Over time, it can leave you feeling confused about who you really are versus who you’ve been performing.

If this resonates with you, please know that your instinct to protect yourself makes complete sense. And also know that you deserve spaces where you can just be yourself without all the constant calculation and performance.