Internalised Ableism

Internalised ableism is when someone starts to believe negative, limiting, or shaming ideas about disability or neurodivergence — including about themselves.

This isn’t a personal flaw. It’s something that often happens after years of subtle (or not-so-subtle) messages that say certain bodies, brains, or ways of being are “less than,” “too much,” or “not enough.”

It can sound like:

• “I shouldn’t need help with this.”
• “If I just tried harder, I’d be fine.”
• “I don’t want to be that kind of autistic/ADHD person.”
• “I’m probably just being dramatic.”

For neurodivergent people, internalised ableism might show up as:

• Masking to appear more ‘normal’
• Feeling guilty for resting or needing adjustments
• Avoiding diagnosis or support
• Believing they’re broken or failing when they’re just wired differently

This often runs deep. It can come from school, work, media, or even well-meaning people who didn’t know better. And most people don’t realise they’ve absorbed these beliefs — until something challenges them.

Recognising internalised ableism can be painful, but also empowering. It opens the door to self-compassion, unlearning, and building a life based on respect for how you actually function — not who you were told to be.