Why It’s Not About “Brokenness”

Have you ever felt like there’s something fundamentally wrong with you? Like you’re defective, damaged, or just not quite right? If you’re neurodivergent, you’ve probably internalized these messages — and they’re causing real harm.

But here’s the truth: you are not broken. You never were, and you never will be.

The harmful myth of brokenness

The idea that neurodivergent people are broken is one of the most damaging myths our society perpetuates. It suggests that:

• Your natural way of thinking and being is a mistake
• You need to be “fixed” to have value
• Your struggles are evidence of personal failure
• You’re somehow less human than neurotypical people

None of this is true. Not even a little bit.

Your brain works differently, not wrongly

Neurodivergence simply means your brain is wired differently from what’s considered typical. It might:

• Process information faster or slower
• Notice details others miss or filter differently
• Experience emotions more intensely or in unique ways
• Learn and remember through different pathways
• Respond to sensory input in uncommon ways

Different doesn’t mean defective. It means your brain has its own operating system — one that may work beautifully when properly understood and supported.

Where the “broken” narrative comes from

The brokenness myth doesn’t emerge in a vacuum. It often develops from:

Systems that weren’t designed for you: Schools that punish fidgeting, workplaces that demand constant socializing, or environments that assume everyone processes information the same way.

Misunderstanding and fear: When people don’t understand neurodivergent experiences, they sometimes default to seeing them as problems to solve rather than differences to accommodate.

Medical models focused on deficits: Traditional approaches that emphasize what’s “wrong” rather than understanding how your brain works.

Years of struggling without support: When you’re constantly hitting barriers without understanding why, it’s easy to internalize that something must be wrong with you.

Harmful messaging: Direct or subtle communications that you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or need to “just try harder.”

But here’s what’s actually happening: you’re navigating a world that wasn’t built with your brain in mind. That’s not a you problem — that’s a design problem.

The real challenges are valid (and still not about brokenness)

Acknowledging that you’re not broken doesn’t mean pretending that challenges don’t exist. Many neurodivergent people face real difficulties:

• Executive function struggles that make daily tasks harder
• Sensory differences that can cause overwhelm or understimulation
• Communication differences that create misunderstandings
• Energy management challenges that affect daily functioning
• Social dynamics that feel confusing or exhausting

These challenges are real, valid, and deserving of support. But they’re not evidence of brokenness — they’re evidence that you need accommodations, understanding, and systems that work with your brain instead of against it.

Reframing challenges as mismatches

What if instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” we asked “What kind of environment would help me thrive?”

Many struggles that feel like personal failings are actually mismatches between your needs and your environment:

• Difficulty focusing might mean you need movement, different lighting, or less sensory input
• Social exhaustion might mean you need more downtime or different types of interaction
• Executive function challenges might mean you need different organizational systems or external supports
• Emotional intensity might mean you need different coping strategies or more understanding

When you reframe challenges this way, the focus shifts from fixing you to creating better matches between your needs and your environment.

Your strengths are real too

The deficit-focused view of neurodivergence often overlooks the genuine strengths that can come with different brain wiring:

Intense focus and dedication: Many neurodivergent people can dive deeply into subjects that interest them, developing expertise and insight others miss.

Creative and innovative thinking: Different perspectives can lead to novel solutions and unique artistic expression.

Attention to detail: Some neurodivergent brains excel at noticing patterns and details that others overlook.

Authenticity and directness: Many neurodivergent people value honesty and authentic communication.

Resilience and adaptability: Navigating a world not designed for you builds incredible strength and resourcefulness.

Empathy and justice orientation: Many neurodivergent people have deep compassion and strong senses of fairness.

These aren’t consolation prizes or attempts to find silver linings. They’re real strengths that emerge from different ways of experiencing and processing the world.

You deserve support, not fixing

Here’s what you actually deserve:

• Environments that accommodate your sensory needs
• Communication styles that work for your brain
• Work and school situations that utilize your strengths
• People who understand and value your differences
• Support systems that help you navigate challenges
• Respect for your authentic way of being

You don’t need to be fixed because you’re not broken. You need to be understood, supported, and valued for who you already are.

Reclaiming your narrative

If you’ve internalized the brokenness myth, healing starts with changing your internal narrative:

Instead of “I’m broken and need fixing,” try “I’m different and need understanding.” Instead of “Something’s wrong with me,” try “I need better accommodations.” Instead of “I’m too much/not enough,” try “I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be.”

This isn’t toxic positivity or denial of real challenges. It’s recognition of your inherent worth and humanity.

Your brain is not a mistake

Your neurodivergent brain — with all its quirks, intensities, and unique ways of processing the world — is not an error in the human design. It’s a variation, a different way of experiencing and understanding life.

You are not broken. You are not less than. You are not a problem to be solved.

You are human, worthy of love and respect exactly as you are. Your brain works differently, and that difference has value — even when the world doesn’t always see it.