Late Diagnosis

If you’re reading this because you’ve just discovered you might be neurodivergent — maybe at 25, 45, or 65 — let me start with this: you’re not alone, you’re not too late, and there’s nothing wrong with the path that brought you here.

Late diagnosis happens when you realise or get formally diagnosed as neurodivergent later in life, often after decades of feeling different without understanding why. Maybe you always knew something was “off,” but couldn’t put your finger on it. Maybe you spent years thinking you were just bad at being human.

How people often discover their neurodivergence:

• Recognising themselves in a friend or family member’s diagnosis
• Learning about neurodivergence through social media or research
• Experiencing burnout that feels different from regular stress
• Having a therapist or doctor suggest assessment
• Realising patterns when supporting a neurodivergent child

Here’s what late diagnosis often feels like — and why it can be so overwhelming:

The relief: “Oh my god, it all makes sense now.” Suddenly, decades of confusing experiences have an explanation. You weren’t lazy, difficult, or broken — you were just neurodivergent in a world that didn’t understand.

The grief: “Why didn’t anyone notice? How much easier could my life have been with support?” This grief is real and valid. You might mourn the child who struggled alone, the accommodations you never received, the years spent trying to fix something that wasn’t broken.

The anger: “How was this missed? How many other people are still struggling without answers?” Rage at systems that failed you, professionals who overlooked you, and a society that only recognised one way of being neurodivergent.

The questions: “Am I sure? What if I’m wrong? Do I really count as neurodivergent if I’ve managed this long?” Imposter syndrome is incredibly common, especially when your experience doesn’t match outdated stereotypes.

Your next steps are yours to choose:

Some people seek formal diagnosis for validation, accommodations, or access to services. Others find that self-diagnosis and community connection provide all the understanding they need. Both paths are completely valid.

Remember: late diagnosis isn’t a failure — yours or anyone else’s. It’s often evidence of how well you learned to adapt, how hard you worked to fit in, and how resilient you’ve been. You survived and thrived without knowing why things were harder for you than others. That’s remarkable, not shameful.

Your neurodivergent journey doesn’t have an expiration date. Understanding yourself better at any age is a gift — to yourself and to everyone who benefits from your newfound self-awareness and authenticity.