Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy is simply speaking up for what you need to feel comfortable, safe, and successful. It’s not about demanding special treatment or being difficult — it’s about clearly communicating your needs so you can show up as your best self.

For many neurodivergent people, this can feel incredibly challenging. Maybe you grew up being told you were “too sensitive” or learned to hide your struggles to fit in. Learning to advocate for yourself means unlearning years of putting everyone else’s comfort before your own wellbeing.

What self-advocacy actually looks like

Self-advocacy can be big or small, formal or casual. It might mean:

In everyday conversations:

• “I need a minute to think about that before I respond”
• “Could you send that information in writing? I process better when I can read it”
• “I’m not ignoring you — I concentrate better when I’m not making eye contact”

At work or school:

• Requesting reasonable accommodations like noise-canceling headphones or flexible deadlines
• Asking for meetings to have agendas shared in advance
• Explaining that you work better with specific types of feedback

In relationships:

• Setting boundaries around your energy and availability
• Explaining your communication style and needs
• Asking for understanding during difficult times

Why it feels so hard (and that’s normal)

If you’re neurodivergent, you might have spent years:

• Masking your authentic self to fit in
• Being told your needs were “too much” or “unrealistic”
• People-pleasing to avoid conflict or rejection
• Internalizing shame about being different

Learning to advocate for yourself means challenging these deeply learned patterns. It’s brave work, and it takes practice.

Starting small and building confidence

You don’t have to become a perfect advocate overnight. Start with low-stakes situations and build from there:

• Practice with trusted friends or family first
• Write down what you want to say before important conversations
• Remember that asking for what you need is not negotiable — it’s necessary
• Celebrate small wins, even if the outcome isn’t perfect

You’re not being difficult

Here’s something important: advocating for your needs doesn’t make you high-maintenance, demanding, or difficult. It makes you human.

When you speak up for yourself, you’re not just improving your own experience — you’re making it easier for other neurodivergent people to feel comfortable asking for what they need too.

Your voice matters. Your needs are valid. And you absolutely deserve to be heard and respected.