Spoon Theory
Have you ever tried to explain to someone why you’re exhausted after what seems like an ordinary day? Or struggled to describe the mental calculation you do before every activity, weighing whether you have enough energy left? That’s where Spoon Theory comes in.
Created by lupus advocate Christine Miserandino in 2003, Spoon Theory uses spoons as a metaphor for the limited energy reserves that people with chronic illness, disability, or neurodivergence work with each day.
How Spoon Theory works
Imagine waking up each morning with a handful of spoons. Each spoon represents a unit of energy — physical, mental, or emotional. Every task throughout your day costs you spoons:
- Getting dressed: 1 spoon
- Shower: 2 spoons
- Grocery shopping: 3 spoons
- Work meeting: 2 spoons
- Cooking dinner: 2 spoons
- Phone call with a friend: 1 spoon
When you run out of spoons, you’re done. There’s no just “pushing through” — you’ve hit your limit.
Why spoons aren’t equal for everyone
What makes Spoon Theory so powerful is recognising that everyone starts with different amounts of energy, and tasks don’t cost the same for everyone.
For neurodivergent people, everyday activities might be more expensive:
- A noisy office environment might cost extra spoons due to sensory processing
- Social interactions might require more energy because of masking
- Executive function tasks like planning or organizing might drain spoons quickly
- Transitions between activities might cost more than the activities themselves
The invisible nature of limited energy
One of the most frustrating parts of living with limited energy is that it’s often invisible. You might look fine to others while internally calculating whether you have enough spoons to get through the day.
Spoon Theory helps explain:
- Why you might be exhausted after activities that seem easy to others
- Why you need to plan and prioritize in ways that might seem excessive
- Why saying “just push through it” isn’t helpful or realistic
- Why rest isn’t optional — it’s necessary for functioning
Spoon management strategies
People who use Spoon Theory often develop strategies for managing their energy:
Spoon conservation:
- Batching similar tasks together
- Using shortcuts when possible (like meal delivery instead of grocery shopping)
- Saying no to non-essential activities when spoons are low
Spoon budgeting:
- Planning ahead for high-spoon activities
- Keeping some spoons in reserve for unexpected demands
- Recognizing when you’re borrowing from tomorrow’s spoons
Spoon awareness:
- Tracking what activities cost the most energy
- Noticing patterns in your energy levels
- Communicating your spoon status to trusted people
Beyond individual management
While Spoon Theory is often used for personal energy management, it also highlights the need for systemic change. When society is designed for people with unlimited energy, those with chronic conditions or neurodivergence face extra barriers.
Good support means:
- Creating environments that require fewer spoons (like quiet spaces or flexible schedules)
- Understanding that energy limitations are real and valid
- Not expecting people to “overcome” their need for energy management
Your spoons are yours to manage
If you relate to Spoon Theory, know that you’re not alone in needing to budget your energy carefully. Your awareness of your limits isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom.
You get to decide how to spend your spoons. You don’t owe anyone explanations for protecting your energy, and you don’t need to prove that you’re “sick enough” to have limits.
Your spoons are precious. Use them thoughtfully, without guilt, and surround yourself with people who understand their value.